Drunken Robot Pornography

Mike Here.

Where to begin with Drunken Robot Pornography...

Well, I'll start with what caught my attention first as I walked by Dejobaan's booth at PAX East 2013. Drunken. Robot. Pornography. Who could walk by a game with that title and resist the urge to play? Not to say I'm into consuming excessive amounts of alcohol and watching the evolution of the Floppy Disc to the Hard Drive.


There is no story or reasoning behind what I played. I was simply thrown into an incredibly beautiful, first person, off-the-wall crazy shooter.

Press Start.

You appear on a multi-level walkway floating above a distant city. The Titans are Coming! 3. 2. 1. and the craziness begins. A giant dark ball slowly expands in the center of the map, spawning a Titan into the arena.

Over the course of what was probably about five minutes, I fought against four or five giant weird-shaped robots. As the lasers start flying, you are instructed to

Titans tear it up above the cities.

aim for the limbs first. You slowly break down the Titan from its limbs until you reach its core.

I began running around the skywalk, firing my gun which looks like it is made of multiple thick rotating triangles. Different power-ups located around the map alter your weapon. Different triangles rotated depending on which power up I was using. One of which gave my triangle laser rifle an increase in the fire rate, another created a shotgun-like spread with higher damage. All were essential for taking out the Titan's various limbs as fast as I could in order to get in the highscore list of the day. (Note: I wasn't even close).

Bright colors and an awesome soundtrack

Speed is one hell of a drug.

The triangle-laser-rifle wielder you play as is very fast. The speed and mobility of your player adds to the very fun, fast paced gameplay that Drunken Robot Pornography has to offer. If you have ever messed around with Halo custom games, just imagine Halo with max movement speed and low-gravity. It's fast paced. It's fun. And it works incredibly well. However, you must be extremely aware of your surroundings. You're on a skywalk and having such a high mobility can cause you to easily fall off the map (probably a big part of the reason why I didn't make the high-score list). I had to be careful of my environment, but always had to remain moving in order to avoid the oncoming attacks from multiple directions.

Curiosity.

There is a type of marketing called Curiosity Marketing. That's the green ketchup, the chicken and waffle chips, the things you have to try once. However, the product itself has to work in order for the curiosity to turn into a constant support. The name caught my attention, I was curious, and as I watched the people before me trying out the game, I didn't have any idea of how fun it would actually be. Then I grabbed a power-up in the shape of a martini (not the same power-up mentioned before), jet-packed my way to a far platform with the shotgun spread attachment and blasted away at the arms of a giant robot octopus-like Titan trying to end me.

Drunken Robot Pornography was very fun and pretty, and I highly suggest you check it out on Steam. For $9.99, you can't go wrong.

And You Won't Like It When It's Angry